posted by Joy, on her blog, on Apr 09, 2005
[my response follows]
All of us have our own collection of evil dreams, of nightmares that left us more tired then when we went to sleep….
In one of these old dreams, I used to run away from something. I never had the luxury of time that allowed me to turn back to scrutinize my source of terror. It’d always be within grasp of my tired feet. Its relentless pursuit exhausted me. There’d be times I contemplate just ending it. but terror never let me stop.
The dream stopped recurring after one twist of plot. As usual, I started running out of the blue. I was tired and I wasnt looking. I remembered staring at the sky and screaming for help. Suddenly I crashed into someone. I had no time to react as that person put his arms around me and hugged me tightly and swung me around. The darkness came and collided with him. He was using his back to shield me from the darkness that seemed to loom like a monster in front of both of us. In the dream, I was so stunned that I wasnt even crying. I hung on to him tightly, in fear and knowing this man is my only friend in a land of terror. The monster caught on and it crashed on the back of my protector in a tsunami of revenge. I remember looking into the expression of his face in incredulous wonder as his teeth were clenched in pain, and his expression one of determined strength. The kind of strength you have when you are determined to defy all odds, when your countenance turn from tolerance to defiance. His hold on me tightened protectively as the pain and terror increased. That was the last I remembered.
I think I must have been around 12-14… or even younger. I dont really remember, but I know when I woke up, it left profound emotions in me….From then on, the dream never came back.
Maybe in these dreams, we are hoping for salvation in one form or another. I hope the next time I am in these nightmares, I won’t need to go through them alone. Nightmare becomes tolerable when you have a friend in there. It becomes frightening when I seem to be going through it alone. Agree?
In a corner of my heart, where I gently store my folded wishes and dreams, I want to see him in my dream once again
I replied with a story of my own:
Your story reminds me of a similar experience — not mine, but the experience of a friend.
When he was young, he used to have falling dreams. He would be falling from a terrible height, helpless to slow his fall, and terrified.
My friend had the falling dream repeatedly. Then, one time, he suddenly landed — plop! — in his father’s arms. And after his father caught him, he never had the dream again.
It’s the last point that amazes me. What is it in our psychology that causes us to have these dreams? How is it that, after the dream ends happily just once, our psychology is permanently altered — so that we never have the dream again?
Nothing has changed in our waking consciousness; just in our dream consciousness. It’s a marvel to me.