Hitchhiker’s Guide to the…

Oral Sex? Well, I’m not entirely certain that this would qualify, but I think the overwhelming message in this article is: When Hitchhiking, Don’t!

Officials say Evans was hitch hiking down Interstate 30 in Arlington when a white female known only as ‘Angie’ picked him up.

Soon thereafter, the 42-year-old driver invited Evans back to her horse barn just outside of Wolfe City.

When they arrived, the two became intimate, and officials say ‘Angie’ asked Evans to perform oral sex on her.

That’s when they say Evans got quite a surprise.

Can you guess the surprise?

Well, for one, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of a woman asking for a strange man to perform oral sex on her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that there are some out there who would, and as far a reports go, oral is better than “actual” for many women. But still, it just doesn’t fit my narrow-minded/bigoted stereotype of most women. [as an aside, in retrospect of having written this statement, I don’t think I suspect that most men would ask a stranger to perform oral sex on them either… but if one sex were to be more likely to, I’d pick the male.]

Well that’s clue number one. Do we really need another?

Yeah, Angie’s a man. Or was. The entire story is set in the context that police figured all of this out upon responding to a call indicating that Angie had been … stabbed … by her hitchhiker.

The moral lesson to be gained from all of this? Aside from my own very deep statement above, police supplied the public with this:

Authorities warn regardless of the situation that picking up hitch hikers is never a good idea.

They also precautioned that driving drunk is a no-no, and that playing with matches… oh wait, that’s Smokey’s job. Never mind.

[I think that they must have been snickering a bit when they said “picking up.” I know I would have been…]

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Stephen
    Oct 26, 2007 @ 10:57:09

    Moral of the story:

    #1) Nothing is as advertised any more. You never realize that Angie is actually Andy until it’s too late.

    #2) If you’re going take risks, picking up hitchhikers, don’t compound the risk by springing a very unexpected surprise on them.

    Reply

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