Take a moment and contemplate the picture above. Now answer for me a relatively simple question:
What is it?
If you answered “a cat”, you’re right.
Now look at this picture.
Okay, that’s enough looking. You can stop. Hello? Yes, this means you, bald guy in the corner. Stop looking, and come back to the point. Oh… what is the point? Well, first look at another picture:
And one last time: What is it?
If you answered more hesitantly, it’s not because of the reason you think. No, you did not answer “a caaat” more slowly because of curiosity, annoyance, or lust (yeah, not even you Mr. Bald Letch.) You did it because your cognitive skills were reduced significantly by looking at the blonde in the previous picture. Your natural bias against blondes was coming into play.
Aha! So that‘s why… I wondered when I did it (I thought I was annoyed at myself!), but the Times Online was kind enough offer me insight on my false assumption:
Researchers discovered what might be called the “bimbo delusion” by studying men’s ability to complete general knowledge tests after exposure to different women. The academics found that men’s scores fell after they were shown pictures of blondes.
Further analysis convinced the team that, rather than simply being distracted by the flaxen hair, those who performed poorly had been unconsciously driven by social stereotypes to “think blonde”.
“This proves that people confronted with stereotypes generally behave in line with them,” said Thierry Meyer, joint author of the study and professor of social psychology at the University of Paris X-Nanterre. “In this case blondes have the potential to make people act in a dumber way, because they mimic the unconscious stereotype of the dumb blonde.”
The research adds to a body of evidence that people’s behaviour is powerfully influenced by stereotypes. Previously scientists have found that people walk and talk more slowly in front of the elderly, while other studies have revealed that unconscious racial assumptions and prejudices emerge in written tests.
What more need be said? Those babbling bufoons were stymied by their own carnal instincts and didn’t even realize that that dumbness coursing through them was the result of years of stereotyping experience!
However, there’s an even more terrifying bias contained within this article which the author fails to notice. This, above all else, has led me to the conclusion that there is a scourge raging through our streets today:
Psychologists have suggested that because white babies are often born blond, there is a primal association between blondness and childhood, encouraging people to admire and fawn over the pale-haired.
Aha! The root of all of our troubles with blondes: Babies! And not just babies, but the underlying stereotypes surrounding them!
Clearly this author has no qualms with this argument. While he doesn’t side with any one of the theories as to why men would act stupidly around women, he presents this Baby Theory in neutral light, demonstrating the true depth of his inight! Had he been a real reporter, he would have picked up on the fact that these scientists clearly believe that babies are stupid!!!
These “researchers” need to do some further digging! After all, even Hollywood managed to stumble across the fact that Babies are Geniuses. If filmmakers can get to the heart of the issue, why can’t highly-funded scientists?
Kudos to the scientists for looking beyond the immediate possibility. The horniness factor should be ignored, since the underlying issue of stereotyping is so blatantly present. Why would men behave stupidly when an attractive blonde shows up, when it would be so much simpler to subconsciously alter one’s mannerisms to behave just like the person they are mentally degrading? But those of you looking to overcome your basest instincts, don’t just stop talking slowly to the elderly and writing texts containing racial assumptions, stop assuming babies are stupid.
Only then will blondes truly be free!