Problems arise when population reaches 1,000,000

Prosperity aint all it’s cracked up to be. From today’s Globe and Mail:

Calgary may be the envy of the rest of the country [because of its vast oil revenues], but lately the city is looking a little grubby, and frankly, people have forgotten their manners.

Civic officials have had it with people spitting on the street. They’re sick of people relieving themselves in public. Fighting in plain view has also become a blight. And propping feet up on public benches and artwork is creating a mess.

Yesterday, sweeping new etiquette rules designed to punish that sort of misbehaviour cleared a major hurdle at a city hall committee, which is now asking city council to approve the new bylaw — something council usually does as a matter of course.

“I think it’s very unfortunate we have to regulate civilized behaviour,” said Alderman Barry Erskine, who supported the bylaw.

Officials say social misconduct has arrived along with Calgary’s prosperity. As the city has grown to a million residents, complaints about people publicly spitting and relieving themselves are pouring in, but city hall has no way to deal with them.

The new bylaw would provide for fines — and possible jail time — depending on the level of revulsion attached to each act.

Carrying a knife in public (other than for religious or work purposes) is an offence that would cost $50. So is standing on or putting your feet up on a public table, bench, planter or sculpture. Spitting in public would cost $100. (Councillors were told that any projectile that comes out of someone’s mouth — tobacco, phlegm, sunflower seeds or gum — would bring the penalty.) Loitering in a public place or obstructing someone would cost $250.

Urinating or defecating in public would be the worst deeds, leading to a fine of $300. (Failing to clean up after your dog, by comparison, would cost $250.)

Other cities have enacted similar bylaws, but in a one-off fashion. Public fighting is banned in Edmonton. Vancouver has fighting and loitering rules. Saskatoon has spitting, urinating and defecating regulations.

But Calgary’s proposal is perhaps the most far-reaching.

I’m reminded of Proverbs 14:4 (a personal favourite): “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.”

In other words, all those oil revenues bring some problems in their wake … but other Canadians might still be willing to trade places with prosperous Albertans.

At least it isn’t as bad as Paris, where the streets are notoriously full of dog shit.

Five tonnes of dog shit are dropped onto the streets, pavements and parks of Toulouse every day of every week of every year.